If you’re thinking about proposing to your girlfriend, it’s natural that you’d experience some nerves. This is a big step, not just in your relationship, but also in your life. Once you propose and she accepts, you’re going to go through the rest of your life not as individuals, but as a couple and a team. This is exciting and thrilling, but the change can also make you nervous.
If you want to propose, but you’re feeling nervous and anxious about the whole thing, here are a few things that you can do to calm yourself and focus.
Remember Why You Love Her
It’s important to remember how lucky you are. A lot of people go through life without ever meeting the special someone that they want to be with forever. You’ve found that person. Think about how blessed you are to be with her and how special she makes you feel.
Think about all of the things that you love about her, from her smile to her attitude to her personal spirit. Thinking about why you love her will make you feel comfortable and loved and that will help you feel calm.
Think About Your Future Together
It’s also a good idea to think about what your future will be like with one another. Imagine the kind of house you’ll live in, or the adventures you’ll take together. Think about your future children and dream about what your days will be like five, ten or twenty years in the future.
This will allow you to focus on the many, many years that you’re going to spend with one another and keep your focus off of the few (potentially stressful) moments you will spend proposing. This can be helpful as it allows you to reframe the entire situation. You shouldn’t be stressing about popping the question, you should be excited to be together forever.
Know That She’ll Say Yes
One thing that can really calm your nerves and give you confidence is knowing that she’ll say yes. Now, obviously, there’s no way to know with 100% certainty that she’ll say yes before you actually ask, but there are quite a few things that you can do to give yourself some hints.
First of all, think if she ever talks about marriage in general. Does she want to get married? This is an important thing to consider as some people never actually want to tie the knot. Has she talked about marriage in the past? For most couples, once you reach a certain point in your relationship, you’ll likely talk about marriage at least once, even if it’s an informal and abstract conversation.
Secondly, you’ll want to think about any conversations that the two of you have had about your future. Has she said things like “Maybe we’ll do that one day, like ten years from now” or “That’s what we’ll be like when we’re an old married couple?” Has she talked about a future that includes you? Does she ever allude to “going old and grey together?”
If she’s talked about wanting to get married one day and she has mentioned hypothetical situations where the two of your are together many years in the future, you can feel more confident that she’ll say yes when you propose.
Feel Confident Buying an Engagement Ring
Another reason that a lot of guys feel anxious about proposing is because they are worried about buying an engagement ring. How much should you spend? What kind of ring does she want? How can you tell the difference between rings? What does a quality engagement ring look like anyway? How can you feel confident in your ring choice?
One important thing that you can do is conduct some research. Sure, it’s not the most romantic act, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a necessary one. After all, the first experience that many people have with buying diamond rings is when they decide to purchase an engagement ring. If you haven’t been engaged before, you’re going into this process fresh. So it's a good idea to start learning.
Don’t worry though. It’s relatively simple to learn enough about diamonds to feel confident in your decision. Check out our diamond education center for more information. Once you know how to compare rings and spot a high quality diamond, you’ll be a lot less anxious about buying one.