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Should an Engagement Ring be a Surprise?

Should an Engagement Ring be a Surprise?

Traditionally, the man in a relationship has purchased an engagement ring in secret and then “popped the question,” revealing the surprise and asking the woman of his dreams if she will marry him. It’s a very romantic sentiment and one that thousands and thousands of people do each year.


However, there are also more and more people who decide to buy an engagement ring together as a couple. In some cases, this is because the woman who is going to wear the ring specifically asks to be a part of the process. In others, the man wants his future bride to give some input into the engagement ring to make sure she likes it. In other cases, one partner buys the ring alone in secret, but asks their partner for some guidance before shopping.


It’s certainly possible to still have a great engagement without the ring being a surprise. Here are some likely pros and potential cons of shopping for engagement rings together.


Pro: You Get the Ring She Really Wants


This is the biggest pro to shopping for an engagement ring with your partner. The ring that you end up buying will be one that she truly loves. You won’t have to worry or stress about whether or not you’re making the right decision, you’ll know for sure.


Pro: There’s Less Pressure


That brings us to the next point, that there’s a lot less pressure when you buy a ring together. Many guys feel a lot of stress when they’re buying an engagement ring. They worry that they don’t know what they’re doing, they get concerned that they could be making the wrong choice, and they fret about whether or not their girlfriend will like the ring. When you buy an engagement ring together, all of this pressure disappears.


Con: There\'s Less Surprise


Of course, when you shop for an engagement ring together, some of the element of surprise disappears. Not only will she know exactly what the ring will look like, but she will also know that you’re about to propose. This isn’t a big deal for some people, but others will want the entire engagement process to be a surprise.


Con: It Might Seem Less Like a “Gift”


If you’re buying something together with someone, you might feel like you’re making a “purchase” and not a “gift.” Again, this matters to some people, but it doesn’t bother others. It’s entirely up to you if you want to have the process be a surprise or not. This, like every aspect of your engagement, is a personal decision.


Making Shopping for an Engagement Ring Together More Personal


As mentioned, one potential downside to shopping for a ring together is that it feels less like a gift and more like a purchase. One possible solution to this issue is a custom engagement ring. When you and your partner come in to design a custom engagement ring together, you’ll get to sit down and discuss what you truly want in a ring. Not only is this an incredibly personal bonding experience, but you end up with a completely unique ring that looks exactly like you’ve always dreamed.


Remember, It’s Your Proposal


What you decide to do is up to you. Some women definitely want to have some input into their engagement ring. This can mean going ring shopping together either in store on online, but it can also mean discussing what you’d like in a ring beforehand, but then having the final purchase be a surprise. Yes, if this is what you decide to do, the proposal won’t come out of the blue, but there will still be an element of surprise when she sees the finished product.


In fact, even if the two of you purchase the ring together, there are still a lot of things that you can do to have the actual proposal be a surprise. Once you’ve bought the ring, tell her that you won’t be giving it to her for a while. Then, you can still plan an elaborate surprise proposal knowing that she’ll definitely love the ring you give her.


Getting engaged this way takes a lot of the pressure off of you while still giving you the opportunity to be creative and fun with your proposal.


Remember, there is no “right” way to get engaged. Different people will prefer different proposals and that’s great. Make your proposal personal, do what you know your future spouse will love, and get ready to enjoy a beautiful life together.

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