A lot of people don’t like to talk about money. This is especially true when it comes to talking about money with your romantic partner. It certainly isn’t a sexy or romantic topic. However, it is a very important one.
This becomes even more of a potential issue when it comes to wedding planning. A wedding is a magical event. It’s something that you’ve been dreaming of for a long time. And that means it can be tough to attach a dollar value to it. That said, if you don’t have a conversation about money and your wedding budget before you start spending, you could end up in trouble down the road.
Money is one of the main reasons that couples fight. Trouble with spending and debt is also a major reason why couples split up. Dealing with financial issues is tough and these issues can cause trouble for many people. That’s why it’s important to discuss money, spending, and your wedding budget before you run into any trouble.
Here are some tips for discussing your wedding budget without ending up in an argument.
Determine How Much Each Of You Can Contribute
Different couples spend money differently. While you may already share some or all of your spending, or you may have plans to share a bank account once you’re married, you both likely have separate incomes, expenses, and debts. This is why it’s important that you discuss what each of you will be contributing to the wedding. Don’t just assume that your partner wants to (or is able to) spend the same amount that you’re planning.
You’ll also want to make sure that you consider your current expenses before you decide on a wedding budget. If you’re spending a lot of money on monthly expenses and debt, this will affect how much you can spend on your wedding.
Talk About Your Families
Not all families are able to (or willing) to contribute to their children’s wedding. If your family is, mention this to your partner, but don’t pressure them to say the same about their family.
It’s also important to talk about what taking money from your families will entail. Is this a loan that they’ll expect back in the future? Does their contribution mean they will have input on the wedding planning? Are you okay with that?
Set Priorities
Each of you will likely have your own priorities for the wedding. You might care the most about the venue while your partner will be more concerned with the clothing. Discuss this situation with one another and see if you can come to some sort of consensus. You probably won’t be able to design a plan where both of you are able to get exactly what you want, but you might be able to work it out so that each of you gets your top one or two wishes, while compromising on the rest.
Listen
Listening is just as important as talking, if not more important. If your partner feels a certain way, truly listen and try to understand his or her concerns. Ignoring how your partner feels is not a good idea and it won’t make for a happy wedding. Never try to pressure your partner into spending money they’re not comfortable with spending. Listening to one another and respecting each other’s opinions is crucial.
Be Honest
If you’re uncomfortable with any aspect of your wedding budget, speak up. You don’t want to be silently upset and annoyed. Your partner won’t have any idea that you’re bothered by the budget and this can lead to future issues between the two of you.
Don’t Hide Anything
Don’t hide any of your spending. If you find great shoes or some incredible decorations and splurge on them, tell your partner what you bought, why you bought it, and how much you spent. Hiding your spending and hoping that they won’t notice is a bad idea that will definitely lead to trouble later on.
Review Regularly
The two of you should sit down regularly and review your budget and spending. Costs don’t always work out the way you expect them to, and sometimes you’ll find yourself spending more in one area that you originally assumed. Regularly reviewing your spending will keep you from going way over your budget.
